(haunted)

Here I am
haunted by photographs,
images I have seen
of brides and grooms
I have seen your
whole life in a box
its dramas,
the plays and awards,
the way you looked
in your cowboy suit
age four,
a funny expression
you had before
you could sit up
which seemed to speak
the human dilemma
and made me laugh
all day.
I have witnessed
your son replicating
your father,
which made me
say out loud,
it really makes you
believe in family.

I have seen you
time and again,
as I have myself,
wearing your same
favorites
in a series of Christmases,
your two faces,
your precocious words.
It will leave me
vulnerable and unsettled
for days,
uncertain what to make
of life,
my place in it.

5/24/97