98poems/legumes

URAD DHAL

I feel overwhelmed
by too many grains,
the things I’m sure
I’ll remember
the names of,
but months later
hold up to the light
wandering:
Is this buckwheat?

Now and then I try to
expand, reading
some cookbook,
trying to follow some
Way.
I considered macrobiotics
because I loved Mrs. Kushi’s
spiritual approach to food.
Something I threw
against the wall
that didn’t stick,
but left strange bottles
on the kitchen shelf,
oils and vinegars
I never used.

Yesterday I brought my
food jars out of the
Lazy Susan,
a dark corner I knew
would not work for me,
which made consciousness
too hard to hold on to.

I need a life
more kinesthetic
than that.
No wonder I
didn’t eat all
summer,
I didn’t know
what food I had.

Now that I do
I realize what
must get tossed,
and commit myself
anew,
to my long grain brown,
my beloved basmati,
and – it goes
with out saying –
oats.

In legumes, as well,
I need simplicity.
What was I thinking
when I bought
toor dhal –
or this dreadful
yellow split mung
which smells so
I cannot cook it.
Urad urad urad
do.
I just can’t
get used to you.

Brown lentils leave
me wanting something
pretty to see,
but red lentils –
red lentils
always please me.
Mung beans,
black beans,
now and then
pintos properly
cooked,
black eye peas
on New Year’s,
at least.

When it comes
to fruits and vegetables
I want no limitation,
except what
I’m not in the mood
to eat.
But I only want
a few of them in the
fridge at once.

Meditation, writing, walk.
Abhyanga then bath.
House and garden,
errands in the world.
And in the afternoon
I write.

Virgo. I remake
myself as I do
each year,
I am doing it
with fewer grains,
not so many
legumes.

9/19/98