(public)

I need to go out
into a public place
and stare out
into space.
sometimes lately
I picture myself
sittng on a low wall,
every low wall
I see seems to call
out to me,
I’ve been feelin’
like I need to sit
down and let my
flesh catch up
to where I am.

I do it, but it
like most things
it just does not
stay done.
There have been other
times I pictured
myself sitting on
a curb, that was
when I could not
go downtown to work,
and did not know
what to do.
I never actually
sat on the curb
I don’t think
except in my heart
and my mind.
Ten years later
or more, I guess
I am working my way
up. I see myself
a little bit higher
up, dryer, cleaner
but that same feeling
if not this then
what.
I n my mind I am
sitting on low walls
all over town.
sometimes when I see
an actual one,
I almost surrender
to the image just
to see if it moves
things along, but
usually it’s not like that lfor me.
I don’t have to
wall into the image,
I have to carry it
around with me,
telling me where I am,
while I wait for
my body to
catch up.

11/8/99