(compelling)

A compelling light
after an overnight
rain.
It shifts like veils
blown free in the breeze,
revealing a golden glow
and then a somber gray.
Rippling faster
than my moood.
Changeable as I am,
I cannot change this
fast.
And then it rains
again,
did I cause it
in wanting something
to last,
in that momentary
urge of thinking
perhaps I don’t
want to go out
for a walk.

It seems like seconeds,
minutes at the most
the rain picks up
like a downhill ride.
California does this.
I focus my energy
for a cloudy day,
to make soup
and stay indoors.
And then the sun
burst out, and
my cells confused
housework turned
into a picnic.
But lately it’s even
more extreme.
whole seasons
shift day by day.
I am spring
cleaning in winter,
planting too late
into the summer
sun.

Nature is moody,
I’m no sure why.
She does not know what she wants
to do. I feel the same.
Turning in circles,
picking up work &
letting it go.
Everything abandoned
in a state of incompletion.
She & I lurch forward
in spurts.
And I am uncertain
if it is rest at home
we need,
or a change
of scene.

4/29/99