2000/clarity

At the most inopportune times
a kind of ill-advised clarity
comes over me.
Suddenly I realize it’s time
for this shirt to go,
or the clay cooker
I’ve been ambivalent about.
Finally, I can let go.
Finally, I know.
Pouring the last of an ancient
soy sauce down the drain.
A clay mask chilled in the frig
for fifteen years, though usually
I don’t hold on that long.
When this seeing eye steps forward
it shines on everything I touch.
Stacks gather about the house for days.
It is one of my favorite times,
I’ve always said I live to eliminate.
The problem is stuff always comes back.

The first stage is easy,
as the first stage of everything is.
And then the hard part comes,
actually getting things out of the house.
I have been known to walk past
something on a counter so many times
if it were some sort of penitence,
I would be in heaven by now.
It is one of the great mysteries of life –
what makes this resistance
to completion take hold.

I guess I like fun too much.
And lose all interest
when it becomes work.
I used to have a Good Will
donation box near home,
which made it easy to do
in frequent batches.
That seems to be part
of the answer.

The real question is, of course,
will I ever stop looking
for such answers,
will I ever find one
that satisfies the question?

1/7/00