(deceptive)

A deceptive sun,
one that brings
more light
than heat,
I tell myself,
assuaging my
guilt at turning
up the heat.

A winter sun
following days
of rain,
the precocious green
deludes us
into expecting
spring

but the ground
is cold & wet.
I wear my
usual four layers,
two of silk, two of cotton,
and drink chai,
thick with
warming herbs.

If I were outside
all day
I’d know,
but I come in &
out,
working in the
pink chairs
on the deck,
then at my desk.

And my body
is confused
about what
to believe,
the glare
that requires
sunglasses
or the chill
in my flesh.

1/27/99