2000/study

I study the face of a man
reading a book on investing.
No movement but his eyes.
The occasional flipping
of a page.

The financial guru says
to turn toward your money.
This man has fallen asleep
over his.
The book begins to slip,
and startles him awake.

That’s how it’s always been
with me, about money.
Falling asleep.
Waking up.
Falling asleep.
Waking up again.
Mostly seeing it as a concept
I didn’t know how to grasp.
An abstraction I could not
reach my hands around.

For months I’ve carried
the same dollar bill.
A kind of chain letter
with a Christian message
written in ink.
It means I always have
a dollar in my pocket,
though its admonition
was quite the reverse,
to spread the message wide.
I know the thing to do
is keep the flow going,
with resources in general.
But with this dollar
I cannot.

3/6/00