2000/spaces

I like large spaces, room to move.
My eye must have horizon,
is arrested by too much clutter,
held hostage by the distraction
of details.
The billions of daily decisions,
silent behind our acts,
dragging us down inch by inch
until that voice speaks up –
not one more thing.

Not one more petty decision.
I keep saying I have unutilized
executive skill
that I don’t know how to use.

An autistic woman I saw on t.v.
says she thinks in pictures
and not words.
She learned to calm herself,
in a device for cattle,
and went on to design humane
chutes which send cows
to a peaceful, pain-free death.
A story with the kind
of perfection I love.

Lately I am letting go
of the need for any reward,
which I hope will make it easier
to keep going.

3/2/00